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Relationships First: Ideas for Building Relationships While Distance Learning

A dented Diet Coke serves as my reminder to focus on student relationships, and it works better than any sticky note. I know what you must be thinking:  What does a dented Diet Coke can have to do with relationships?  The answer is Jim Pfeiffer.  

Jim was my principal in Arizona and he spent time every day waiting in the teacher’s lounge for a teacher to look away from their soda can so he could dent it.  If you left your can while you bought a candy bar at the vending machine, he dented it.  A can on your desk? Dented. Went to the bathroom during a staff meeting? Dented.  Jim was all about relationships and constantly told us that you have to know your kids before you can teach your kids.  The dented can became a symbol to our staff that educators have to build relationships first.

Building relationships has become a daunting task as we begin distance learning.  How do we get to know our students when we 

have limited interactions?  How do we give them a voice when we can literally mute them?  How do we find out what makes them smile, what are their interests, what makes them feel accomplished, what are they nervous about, how do they learn best?  We know that relationships must come first!  This is non-negotiable!  Thankfully, there are still ways that you can build relationships with kids while distance learning.  

Student/Family Interviews

Before school starts, schedule a family interview!  This is a great time to get a tour of the student’s home, have them show you things that are important to their family, discuss the parents’ work schedule and who will be helping with distance learning at home. Reach out to their support system and ask if their child learns better on technology or doing off-line assignments, etc.  For some interview questions, check out the freebie section on our website that you can use! 

Hang Out Before School

One of my favorite times with my students is the time between when the kids arrive and school starts.  This is our chance to talk about their lives, to joke, to make sure they had breakfast and to ensure that they are emotionally ready for the day. This time is still a great time to spend talking to kids.  Before school, schedule 2 or 3 students to hang out before the actual lesson! This gives them a chance to talk to you in a small group and to each other. It also lets you communicate to the students, “You are important to me as a person, not just a student.” 

Digitally Getting to Know You

Google slides are an easy way for students to create a presentation about themselves!  Instead of the typical “Meet the Teacher” night, send out Google Slides about yourself and ask the kids to make presentations about themselves.  Presentations about you can be revisited by students.  My daughter is nervous since she has had the same teacher and classmates for the last two years. Now she doesn’t know her teacher or her classmates!  If she has a presentation about her teacher and classmates, she will revisit it again and again, studying the information and building sense of connection and comfort.  The last page of the slide could be for students to type questions, an activity that will help them feel connected to each other and show the slide creator that people took time to get to know them.

Print Their Pictures

When you see your students’ faces, you think about them. Print pictures of each of the students in your class and make a poster with them that you can see while you teach.  Seeing them will be a visual reminder of who you need to connect with that day, who you need to check in with and who might be hiding in the group.  Major League Baseball put cutout fans in the stands so players weren’t looking at an empty stadium.  Your classroom might look empty, but your poster of their faces will help remind you why you are a teacher and why you are going to make distance learning work.  

Track What You Know

Add pages to your data notebook about the students!  Keep track of what you are learning about them so that you can use it when you are planning your lessons.  Leave a spot in your lesson plans to record if you noticed a student not participating during their Zoom.  Set a schedule for when you are going to check in with students to ensure that you are seeing every student on a regular basis.  As teachers, we are used to looking at the students’ data to make instructional decisions.  Relationship data tracking is just as important as how they score on a test.

Hidden Items

Once you know about your students, hide items that represent a student’s interests in the background of your lessons.  For instance, I have a student who LOVES dinosaurs.  Whenever I Zoom with him, I have a dinosaur in the background.  He loves to see the dinosaur because he knows that it means I know him.  I also use it when he begins to disengage.  We take a dinosaur break and talk about the dinosaur for a moment, and then he is ready to learn.  All of the other kids in his small group know he loves dinosaurs and will frequently ask him questions.  When the kids spot a new item, it is a way for the kids to get to know each other by guessing whose interests it represents. 

As teachers, we are creative. This is our time to shine.  We know that relationships are essential and we can build them!  This fall, I will have a dented Diet Coke can to remind me what is important.  I hope your year is full of dented Diet Coke cans.

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This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Jamie Robarge

    Great ideas to build relationships virtually!

  2. Allison Kiser

    This is great, Jamie!

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